My Big Fat Stomach…

“It’s called muffin-top” says my daughter who keeps up with all the latest terminology and gives great graphic descriptions.

My mother is more reassuring. “You look fine.” But, I remember a story she used to tell about ladies from her square dancing class who bought stretch shorts and had to wear them backwards As they got older the lady’s fannies had flattened and shrank. Their weight had gone to their middles forcing tummies to pooch out the front.

I used to find that story cute. But, I’ve been going through clothes and not liking anything.

Soon, I’m going on vacation. We will be away from the horrible snow and cold. We’re heading for sunshine. Which I love. But it’s also the land of swimsuits and short shorts and college girls in string bikinis.

Everything I own has been thrown to the bottom of my closet floor in disgust.

I’ve been wearing big comfy overalls around the house this winter and the goldfish has expanded to fill the bowl. I refuse to buy bigger sizes. But, I dig through my husband’s t-shirts and his shorts. The look is casual & faded…perfect…maybe.

“Why aren’t you eating?” my husband asks watching me pick at my food. He worries I’ll make myself sick. Later he sits beside me on the couch with a snicker’s bar.

I can smell the chocolate and the nuts.

“Would you like a bite?” he offers.

“Ummmm…well, yeah, just a bite….”

He’s going to be sorry when he sees the granny pants I bought. Those are pants made to accommodate eating Snicker’s bars. Lots of them…

dsc01680.JPG
My new sexy “granny pants” undies.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

  1. Strawberry Lane’s avatar

    The square dancing story is a stitch!

    So that’s where the middle spread comes from … shifting from behind. Never would have guessed that.

    Love the “drawers”. They look comfortable, expandable, and a world away from those horrid bikini undies from my earlier life.

    Hi Strawberry Lane,

    I believe the story about the square dancing ladies. I’ve been really looking at people’s shapes lately. The “drawers” are comfy. But my husband and daughter are not impressed. My daughter even called to say she can’t believe I put a picture of my underwear on the web.

    “But, mom, they aren’t cute!” were her exact words.

    Reply

  2. Robin’s avatar

    mmmmm…..ya…… If this didn’t hit so close to home I’d think it’s extremely funny that we get to see your undies. I have a few grannies. You know how you get comfortable with something and start to convince yourself it’s not as bad as you thought? Careful, don’t fall into the grannie trap. They really are comfy.

    Hi Robin,

    The granny trap would be an easy one to fall into. They are comfortable.

    The day I bought them, I was feeling especially fat and could not face bringing something home that was too small or that dug in.

    Reply

  3. BarnGoddess’s avatar

    I just left a comment and it erased it-grrrr.

    those arent bad looking granny panties……

    Im going to FL and staying at my sisters condo on the beach. My swimsuit still fits and covers all my problem areas BUT its more like a ‘swimdress’….

    Hi Barngoddess,

    Sorry about your comment getting lost. I lost a whole post once last summer after I thought I had it just right. Ugh!

    Thanks for rewriting!!!

    Have fun in Florida!!!!

    Reply

  4. sweetrosie’s avatar

    loving the knickers!

    I have a drawer-full of their twins at home 🙂

    I bet you’re gorgeous – don’t make yourself sick with not eating.

    Reply

  5. James’s avatar

    That is kind of tasteless, to put a picture of your underwear on your blog. My ex-girlfriend used to wear such underwear, and I found it irritating. You need to eat less and exercise more.

    Reply

Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *